The Rainbow Empire of Dr. Virgil D. Atkinson

This is my favorite picture ever. Literally ever. Out of all the...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:20:55 -0500

This is my favorite picture ever. Literally ever. Out of all the pictures that ever have been or ever will be, this one is by far my favorite. That kid is the sheer embodiment of death, doom and GET SOME! He could be the mascot for the intramural softball team I am forming (Hint: it’s a front for my meth dealing operations. No one would ever suspect the owner of a softball team).

I’m back. Maybe. I don’t know. I have the attention...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:09:58 -0500

I’m back. Maybe. I don’t know. I have the attention span of a squirrel on crank. We’ll see what happens. In apologize for my absence, which I’m sure ripped you all to shreds. Have this picture as a token of my Mel Gibson-esque apology.

Now, I have gone the record as saying I hate the Riddler and I...

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:43:47 -0400

Now, I have gone the record as saying I hate the Riddler and I think he’s a dumb cocksucker. Even the Riddler from Long Halloween was still a pretty big douchebag. However, if he were to be played by NPH, I would totally accept his existence in the next Batman movie. ONLY NPH!

Crackers, This is the New Shit. Also, I want for just once in my...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:53:30 -0400

Crackers, This is the New Shit. Also, I want for just once in my life to be called a cracker, just so I can hit my offenders with a witty comeback… and then run like fuck because, obviously, any African American that actually calls me a cracker is probably going to be able to kick my ass.

This is… this is just great.

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:36:19 -0400

This is… this is just great.

White people like Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:05:37 -0400

White people like Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X.

Spiderman fucks who he wants, whenever he wants, how he wants....

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:54:42 -0400

Spiderman fucks who he wants, whenever he wants, how he wants. He is not held by the normal boundaries of men because he, indeed, better than ALL OF YOUR SHIT. Remember that and you’ll be just fine.

I can assure you, if the Bible had been written by Bill Cosby,...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:52:38 -0400

I can assure you, if the Bible had been written by Bill Cosby, it’d be a fuck load more entertaining.

Coincidentally, this is how I feel whenever I sing this song out...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:50:52 -0400

Coincidentally, this is how I feel whenever I sing this song out loud.

Pro fact: I love 60s Spiderman memes. All of them. Ever....

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:50:12 -0400

Pro fact: I love 60s Spiderman memes. All of them. Ever. They’re all awesome.

Kelso’s taking my gig. Well fuck that, only one of us can...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:49:31 -0400

Kelso’s taking my gig. Well fuck that, only one of us can a creepy, windowless van guy and you’re on Two and a Half Men, so fuck you.

Photo

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:52:00 -0400

Well so do I! Does that make me a T-Fucking-Rex!? YOU’RE...

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 18:54:00 -0400

Well so do I! Does that make me a T-Fucking-Rex!? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!

These are the player characters for Pokemon Black and White. I...

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 18:40:34 -0400

These are the player characters for Pokemon Black and White. I just discovered that their names are Hilda and Hibert. The fuck!?

"You’ve never had a glimpse at the golden gate, and you’re not even as horny as that kid."

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:11:35 -0400

““You’ve never had a glimpse at the golden gate, and you’re not even as horny as that kid.””

- Evan Atkinson, talking about my track record (Or lack thereof) with women

Saying this really fast is hardest thing I’ve ever had to...

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:13:43 -0400

Saying this really fast is hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Goddamn, I love Xibit memes.

My fuckin’ legendary trainer card! My Pokemon: Kyogre, the...

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:04:22 -0400

My fuckin’ legendary trainer card! My Pokemon: Kyogre, the biggest troll of all the legends (Seriously, drizzle and thunder?); Kyurem, if Jesus had epic mount, this would be it; Rayquaza, if Randall Flagg had an epic mount, this would be it; Arceus, if I had an epic mount, this would be it; Terrakion, the Pokemon version of a Hindu deity; and Mew, Kirby is Pokemon form.

This is Karl Marx. I am as sexy as him.

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:42:14 -0400

This is Karl Marx. I am as sexy as him.

My fuckin’ Unova trainer card. My Pokemon: Emboar, if...

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:40:22 -0400

My fuckin’ Unova trainer card. My Pokemon: Emboar, if Grunt from Mass Effect 2 jumped into a volcano; Braviary, the spirit of Pokemon America; Darmanitan, because Primeape is for pussies; Hydreigon, Dusktail from Paper Mario 2 with three heads; Haxorus, a robotic T-Rex with longer arms; and Beartic, the love child of a polar bear and Jesus.

My fuckin’ Shinnoh trainer card. My Pokemon: Empoleon, the...

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:18:12 -0400

My fuckin’ Shinnoh trainer card. My Pokemon: Empoleon, the love child of an emperor penguin and Panzar Dragoon Orta; Magmortar, if Magmar stole Samus’ arm cannon and gained one hundred pounds; Electivire, Electabuzz on bull shark testosterone; Gallade, Ralts meets Enter the Dragon; Dusknoir, the ghost of Dimebag Darrell; and Bibarel, because, once again, fuck you.